Yeah, Well, That's Life For You

It's been forever, I know, I'm aware, it's not like anybody cares. Now that I think about it, I really don't see the point of having a blog if no one is going to read it. Oh well, it's for me.

So I was going to do NaNoWriMo (Nation Novel Writing Month), but everything is pounding on me, and so I'm thinking it's not going to happen this year. Sad, I know, but I haven't even hit a thousand words yet, and I'm supposed to be averaging around two thousand words a day. Sucks to be me, yeah? I hate to give up, but I also have to be realisitic. Besides, without that pressure I can write what I want when I want. I got this awesome new book called Writing Magic by Gail Carson Levine, and it's pretty much about how to write. I absolutely LOVE it. I finished it. So. Freaking. Amazing.

I've been going to the gym for physical therapy, and I've been getting better. Now I can walk, almost kneel, but my leg has forgotten how to run. Things you take for granted when you have two perfectly fine legs. It's hard to believe that it's been almost three months since my surgery.

Epiphany!

I have just recently realized that I can say whatever I want here! I can be sarcastic, I can be mean, I can be sadistic because:

A) No one freaking reads this thing

2) Who cares if they do?

d) Because I freaking CAN!!!

Wow, I haven't felt this liberated in...well, awhile. It's way cool because since no one is reading this, I don't have to keep up pretenses, I don't have to worry about their feelings, and, well, I would say some more deep, liberating things, but George of the Jungle is on in the background and I keep losing my train of thought.

I know I lost my resolve to write here every day. But really, who wants to hear about my daily drudges and exploits? If you do, speak now or forever hold your peace!

It's Been A While

I know, I know. I haven't written in forever. In my defense, I've been dealing with a lot of stuff. Mainly graduation. Which is tomorrow. Wow.

So, I have to say goodbye to a lot of friends. Which is the hard part.

I suddenly don't know what to write. Wow. Okay. I guess this is all you get this time. Enjoy.

....Cheerleaders. Need I Say More?

Okay, so we all know that cheerleaders are given a bad rep for being stoopud. And I try as much as I can to stay unbiased until I actually know them. However...well, as you'll see from these quotes, if there were ever a cheerleading squad (is that what they're called?) to fit the cliche, this squad would definitely be at the top of the list.

For example, take today.

Cheerleader: "Omigosh. My leg is bleeding hysterically!"

Drama (LATER): "When I heard that, I laughed profusely."


Or you can take Freshman Orientation.

Sign: "Welcome Freshman!"

Drama Director: "YOU! You're the the freshman who gets to be welcomed this year!"

Maybe you should take the pep assembly.

Cheerleader: "And you have to be able to speak legibly."
(For those of you having trouble figuring that one out, you can't speak legibly. You can only write legibly)

These totally made my day, and considering that there's a pep assembly on Friday being hosted by the cheerleaders, there's bound to be alot more quotes on the way. Mwahahaha!!

So much time! So many nightmares!

Sorry I haven't written. I was *coughcough* grounded from computer in an effort to get me to bed earlier *coughcough*. Although since no one is really reading this, I don't think you've even noticed, and if you have, you don't really care.

I had a freakin SCARY nightmare last night! The kind that you think about the next day and almost die from just the realness of it. The general storyline was that my friends and I were committing suicide. My friend killed herself (though it was later revealed in the dream that she survived, or came back to life, or something), and I almost killed myself, although despite the fact that I did exactly what my friend did, and I think I might have died for a fraction of a second, but I didn't stay dead. I went on and did different stuff, the details I can't quite remember. All I know is that feeling when I was killing myself -- a dark emptiness, a void, and despair. I think I might have enjoyed knowing I was dying. Maybe that's what scares me the most. Or maybe that I could see myself doing that. Gosh, it's still freaking me out. I haven't been able to figure out why. Maybe it's the freaking fact that I committed suicide. Scary, right?

I mean, I've thought about it before, sure, who hasn't? But not for the reasons that you'd think. I really just wanted to see what death was like. But now to see what suicide would really entail . . . I'm kinda glad that I didn't. Mayhaps the scariest thing was that it felt real, like it was happening to me and there was no way to stop it, because in the dream, I wanted it. Well, until after I did it, and then I just felt left behind, almost, by my friend who had committed suicide. And although I was sorta glad to still be alive, and really glad that she ended up being alive too, I wanted to be dead with her.

I read once that death in your dreams signifies a new beginning. It makes sense. In my dream, the friend who died is actually trying out for a presitigious choir . . . tomorrow, I think. So yes, she is starting anew, and doing it by her own free will. So that makes sense. I can't figure out what mine means yet.

Am I just thinking way too much about this?

Blah

I honestly have nothing to say for today. I'm only writing this out of duty.

Well, at least I can admit that much, right?

Youtube!

You know, you used to be able to find ANYTHING on youtube! But now they're cracking down on stupid stuff so I can't even find a full episode of Criminal Minds. Lame? Oh, to a whole new extent! I'm so hooked on that show now! My favorite character is Dr. Spencer Reid.

I just got this strange urge, like, two seconds ago to watch MirrorMask. I love that movie! I haven't watched it in forever, thought. I've been too busy watching The 4400. Another awesome show that we have on DVD (thank you, Grandma!)

I'm going on May 15 (I think) to go see The Three Musketeers. I'm so excited! If the date's wrong, I'll change it later.

I'm running out of things to ramble about. I shall now go to bed. Well, after I take a shower. I love showers: the water, the water pressure, the heat, the overall sense of peace and oneness when you can block everything out. Yes, shower first. Then bed. I'm so very tired.

99 Pints of Blood on the Wall

I donated blood for the first time today. It was awesome! Well, except for being completely drained (forgive my pun, it's been the joke of the day) and a bit woozy. I crashed when I got home, so I feel better. Not so woozy, not quite so tired. Almost normal.

Remember how I said that I wouldn't tell about myself because of weirdos creeping the internet that might come and read this and then who knows what? Well, flip that. I'm a Senior in high school, and I'm leaving September 6, 2010 to go to BYU-Idaho. I want to major in English Education and minor in either Music or Chinese. I might double-minor. Who knows, really.

Random? Yes. See what blood loss does to me? Laughter.

I'm trying to think of things to ramble about, but I really don't know right now. Criminal Minds is on downstairs, so I think I might go watch it and eat some rice. Yummy. Yes, good plan. And afterwards I should write. Never mind, it's 10 at night. I really need to sleep, especially given today's events.

Question: How do you know when a guy likes you? Or when you like a guy?

If I were a Journal....

I decided, being so tech saavy, that I should create a jounal-y thing. Mulitple reasons for said aspiration.

For one thing, I will be leaving soon, and my mother will want to know what I am up to. If I ever tell her about this blog.

And the only reason why I wouldn't is because this is where I will vent. I may or may not tell anyone about this at all. It may just be for me. My own little world.

I have two other blogs: sorencantus.blogspot.com and burningstreak.blogspot.com

Now, before you think I am getting carried away, let me tell you this: I might be. But 1000 Oceans (sorencantus....) is turning into my writing blog, where I post what I write (hence the writing blog part). And Mind of Fire (burningstreak....) is for a charachter that I created. My friend has a companion blog (treasatreaforshort.blogspot.com).

Unlike my past two blogs, my post titles will be random. On 1000 Oceans, they are all song titles. On Mind of Fire, they are one-worded (I think so, at least).

I would tell you specifics about me, but you never know who is roaming these. Haha.

And so, I leave my first trace of myself.